Posting here?

Friday, 25 May, 2007 at 7:43 am (Blog)

Yes I don’t know why… although I haven’t been here in ages and dislike blogging for some reason I felt like blogging here. I guess because no one really reads this blog anymore (understandably, hey I wouldn’t even read it ;)).

I was thinking “Why??” do I dislike blogging? Well, I always thought because everything you type on a blog is final and just one way (like with MSN or whatever really). Once you type something and post it out in the open people can misinterpret what you are trying to say and you can’t take it back easily because generally you can’t reach them anymore. Although that is still true, it is but a part of why I dislike blogging. I dislike my own thoughts, feelings and etc. and defenitly dislike sharing them (even with my friends). For example blogging, it is all about me. Writing what I think and feel and think should be different in the world. It’s so egocentric. Now I now that most people probably think I’m nuts even thinking about things like this but it is what I feel. It’s like with friends, I like sharing fun experiences with them and I really want to help them out with things and support them. But I do not want to be a party pooper and start talking about annoying or painful things for me (by which I mean the conversation should never be about me). You see my point in not liking blogging? Now to extrapolate, sometimes I think that meetings (trying to be as vague as possible here) between me and some poeple always originate from me. Although I really like those people and really understand that they are very busy and do really “care” about me I can’t help but wonder if things could be different. That is a thought that I really dislike. Yes sometimes it might be true, but I have no right to question them. Also, I’m not sure if I am really questioning them, or if it is just something that is wrong with me. Me wanting attention, yet not wanting attention because that simply isn’t nice. That *is* the easiest explanation….

I don’t like my own thoughts as they contradict themselves. I doubt pretty much anything (even sending my friends E-mails). And now too, why on earth should I be blogging :S? Something I dispise from the bottom of my heart because it is all about me!? Why why why…. What got me back on this page was my closest (girl, not meaning girl-girlfriend but purely female friend) friend. She writes her own blog and keeps it up. She didn’t really have an emotional vent when she was younger, so she couldn’t vent her emotions unlike me who DID have a really nice family. She writes with real passion about what is on her mind, even if it is about emotional things. On one side I think that is great as she isn’t afraid of opening up, on the other hand I project my own dislikes about blogging on it and think that it is kinda ego-centric (please please please don’t misunderstand if you ever read this V-chan). But that is purely me projecting myself onto her blog. When I rationally think about it it is really great that she has that blog and that she is quite passionate about it. She isn’t afraid to write about herself, she thinks she has the right to do so. Seeing her blog and reading it now (as I have always done in the past for as long as I know her) made me open this page again, and thinking about writing something.

And here I am yapping on and on about me and my point of view, just taking up people’s time with uninterresting things. Contradiction to the max :). It’s a good thing no one reads this blog anymore (thankfully not my friends, which live near me, anyway). It’s strange how I do want to post this, yet at the same time most defenitly do not.

On a brighter note, just cause typing all this nonsence (or at least I think it is, though it is what I’m thinking about) made me think I should write some kind of ending to this post, I’ve found the button I was looking for :D. As you probably have no clue what I’m talking about, I recently got a jar of “sesamstraat fruitstroopie”, sesame street fruit sirupe for on bread. Don’t ask me how I got it ;). Anyway it contained a kid friendly button with elmo on the top (being happy as always). It was such a funny thing I immediatly thought about Vicu-chan. But when she was over here I couldn’t find the button anymore :S. Yesterday, yay :D, I found the button so I think I’m gonna drop it off today (when she isn’t home, or at least I hope so). So that was an extreme bit of useless info for anyone who will ever read this, and with that I’m off to school going to make an English reading test (and a chemistry assignment).

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6 Comments

  1. Juice said,

    Though it’s perhaps uneasy to talk about yourself (also a reason for me not to have a blog), it can be, as you say, a vent for emotions. Some people try to focus attention on them by making problems. This is not what’s happening on this blog.

    Contraction of wanting to say things but not wanting them to be discovered (easily) by people is strange. But yet, it ís a way to cope with some sorts of problems.

    Always keep in thought that we’ve got an open mind about most things and if you don’t want to vent on the internet, please come to see us.

    I know it’s hard to catch us in a serious mood, but when we are, try to let it out, thta’s why we’re here for 🙂

    Spatterrrr 🙂

    Juice

  2. Metrujectiktus said,

    Приветствую всех!
    У меня такой вопрос,кто что интересное подскажет буду признателен.
    Мы с друзьями собираемся поехать в круиз по просторам России и ближнего зарубежья месяца на два на своих машинах,но не как не можем согласовать маршрут,если у кого уже был опыт такого путешествия,может,что посоветуете.Девчонок с собой не берем,думаем,что во все городах России с этим не будет проблем,если у кого будут рекомендации и в вопросе отдыха с девушками тоже буду признателен.

    С уважением Сеньчик

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