Just a short one then ;)
Okay I just felt like posting here again, but just a short message to say I’m pretty damn bummed out today. I organised a little trip for 8 cents (to another country mind you) via aeroplane, and now no of my friends want to come anymore….. trust me, that is one hell of a dent in your self confidence…..
Yes so I’m posting here, again
*chuckles*, yes posting here once more. Although I decided not to post here again because of several things (aside from a few obvious reasons) I’m back for a post :). I haven’t the faintest of clue what to write though… of course I do know what is on my mind but how to put it in words, without allowing misinterpritation is something beyond me. Something recently scared the crap out of me, doesn’t really matter what, but I though something was pretty frelled up, but when I went to check it out everything was fine (or at least it seemed fine, and I didn’t want to push)…. I guess that is kinda what is up with me right now, thinking too much of things (or too litle?). If so then I shouldn’t be posting this (obviously).
Anyway, I don’t know why I’m posting, as always. I guess it is just that I don’t understand the world, that I dislike the randomise() aspect of life, people etc.. Especially posting about me, when I really don’t want to (be posting about me). I don’t want anything to be bothering me (regardless of it’s importance), and most defenitly don’t want to bother others with it. I also keep reading people wrong; their emotions and point of view.
Writers block now I guess, doesn’t really matter. If no one reads this (which is a blessing really, I can kinda understand why people would keep a dictionary *EDIT: meant diary, but now I can also see why a dictionary and a better concentration would be useful* now) then who cares if it stops (aside from me who seriously stops in his thinking process which is really quite annoying and then comes up with a totally unrelated line of thought only to return the the original one and complete the circle…phew, let’s take a breath). Gonna mail someone, someone unrelated to this all. Best of luck to him by the way, he needs it.
p.s. Off to installing another WP on my own server (and not posting here again)
Frell this
I’ve been watching TV a lot (like always :P) lately and what I noticed was that there are a billion shows about people and their feelings. It’s pretty strange that the society is so extremely focused on themselves and on telling the whole world about them. Okay I like watching Dr. Phil sometimes as the guy really has some good advice from time to time, but pretty much every channel you change to there is a similar show going on (with the worst of it being Tyra :S, seriously get her of the air/cable!). The funniest part about it is that they are all (and now I’m not counting the crappy shows with people who I think can’t be called adults) mature people. People who can’t deal with certain situations or emotions on their own. That scares me really. If people that are supposed to be your rolemodels (hey they are adults, and I am stil a kid in theory) can’t ttake care of their emotions how can you?!
This notion got me thinking, what IF I want something (like yesterday, I just wanted to be with my great friends nothing more. I wished he wouldn’t have checked his Gtalk until today though) why not just ask for it (of course that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t take other people’s feelings into account however it does mean that I can or at least should be able to express my own emotions freely). Let people know that I am interested in doing something or getting something. People are black-boxes (more so some people, nah, that’s just a lame comment for people who wear a lot of black) that you can’t thouroughly understand and predict. Funny thing is I already knew this, yet still feel somewhat frelled up about it. I’m guessing it is just human to want to predict situations, want to be in control. Logically getting frustrated if something isn’t going the way you planned it (and with everyone being different and having a mind of their own there is bound to be differences). On that part Juice, your advice is good as even if I don’t change my way of being it would be randomise(), thus preparing for unexpected things.
I recognise my dad in me, typical neh? Well enough typing about me already. I still dislike blogging but that is because I feel I have nothing important to say, my life isn’t so interesting it should be blogged about (like I’m on a reality show). Contradiction anyone :P? I’m still not quite clear about things I think, and they still contradict (lol), but I’ve pushed it aside. Yesterday is a clear example of that, thank you once again for making time guys :). I guess this is signing off again, at least until something else comes up ;).
Boy do I feel like…
A certain somebody, posting again in two days :)!?! Not sure what to type and even if to type as always. I went to Jazz In Duketown (just google it if you don’t know what it is) with my friends which was really nice of them as they don’t really care for Jazz.
I don’t know why but the past few days I’ve been feeling bad (both physically and mentally). But I guess you could already figure that out in the last post :). I just don’t understand why… It has started a few lines of thought, but those end up in the mess of last post. Conclusions drawn from them end up in a giant contradicting pain. That doesn’t mean that I can just stop thinking about those things… and they hardly make me feel better (aka, they do NOT). Especially since they include thoughts about my friends and about me. I have great friends and, well…. you can read more on that line of thought below.
I know I’m probably not making any sence.. I’m ashamed for my thoughts, for not understanding them and not ending up with conclusions (on my own).
Thank you so much for caring guys (sorry random people reading this blog, if any), it really means a lot to me. I’m sorry I’m embarrased about my own thoughts and end up nagging you with it (I know you don’t really mind it that much but that doesn’t mean I don’t dislike doing so). Not telling you but you knowing something is wrong. Maybe I’ll pop by one of these days and have a good talk. I (looks at the letter I for a minute or two)’m not sure with who I’ll talk, it’s harder for me to talk about such things with you Juice though I do think it would be best to talk to you.. I don’t know (hey, that was the whole problem now wasn’t it :P, not knowing or not liking the outcome for whatever reason of lines of thought). Again sorry for not making any sense people :).
Well, that is pretty much what is on my mind right now. Repeating and repeating. Strange right, not having trouble with posting it here, but feeling like I can’t ever show this to my friends (who should hear this, and I think I will mail the link to them..). I can’t imaging anyone reading this and feeling like commenting, but if you do, feel free.
Posting here?
Yes I don’t know why… although I haven’t been here in ages and dislike blogging for some reason I felt like blogging here. I guess because no one really reads this blog anymore (understandably, hey I wouldn’t even read it ;)).
I was thinking “Why??” do I dislike blogging? Well, I always thought because everything you type on a blog is final and just one way (like with MSN or whatever really). Once you type something and post it out in the open people can misinterpret what you are trying to say and you can’t take it back easily because generally you can’t reach them anymore. Although that is still true, it is but a part of why I dislike blogging. I dislike my own thoughts, feelings and etc. and defenitly dislike sharing them (even with my friends). For example blogging, it is all about me. Writing what I think and feel and think should be different in the world. It’s so egocentric. Now I now that most people probably think I’m nuts even thinking about things like this but it is what I feel. It’s like with friends, I like sharing fun experiences with them and I really want to help them out with things and support them. But I do not want to be a party pooper and start talking about annoying or painful things for me (by which I mean the conversation should never be about me). You see my point in not liking blogging? Now to extrapolate, sometimes I think that meetings (trying to be as vague as possible here) between me and some poeple always originate from me. Although I really like those people and really understand that they are very busy and do really “care” about me I can’t help but wonder if things could be different. That is a thought that I really dislike. Yes sometimes it might be true, but I have no right to question them. Also, I’m not sure if I am really questioning them, or if it is just something that is wrong with me. Me wanting attention, yet not wanting attention because that simply isn’t nice. That *is* the easiest explanation….
I don’t like my own thoughts as they contradict themselves. I doubt pretty much anything (even sending my friends E-mails). And now too, why on earth should I be blogging :S? Something I dispise from the bottom of my heart because it is all about me!? Why why why…. What got me back on this page was my closest (girl, not meaning girl-girlfriend but purely female friend) friend. She writes her own blog and keeps it up. She didn’t really have an emotional vent when she was younger, so she couldn’t vent her emotions unlike me who DID have a really nice family. She writes with real passion about what is on her mind, even if it is about emotional things. On one side I think that is great as she isn’t afraid of opening up, on the other hand I project my own dislikes about blogging on it and think that it is kinda ego-centric (please please please don’t misunderstand if you ever read this V-chan). But that is purely me projecting myself onto her blog. When I rationally think about it it is really great that she has that blog and that she is quite passionate about it. She isn’t afraid to write about herself, she thinks she has the right to do so. Seeing her blog and reading it now (as I have always done in the past for as long as I know her) made me open this page again, and thinking about writing something.
And here I am yapping on and on about me and my point of view, just taking up people’s time with uninterresting things. Contradiction to the max :). It’s a good thing no one reads this blog anymore (thankfully not my friends, which live near me, anyway). It’s strange how I do want to post this, yet at the same time most defenitly do not.
On a brighter note, just cause typing all this nonsence (or at least I think it is, though it is what I’m thinking about) made me think I should write some kind of ending to this post, I’ve found the button I was looking for :D. As you probably have no clue what I’m talking about, I recently got a jar of “sesamstraat fruitstroopie”, sesame street fruit sirupe for on bread. Don’t ask me how I got it ;). Anyway it contained a kid friendly button with elmo on the top (being happy as always). It was such a funny thing I immediatly thought about Vicu-chan. But when she was over here I couldn’t find the button anymore :S. Yesterday, yay :D, I found the button so I think I’m gonna drop it off today (when she isn’t home, or at least I hope so). So that was an extreme bit of useless info for anyone who will ever read this, and with that I’m off to school going to make an English reading test (and a chemistry assignment).
domains domains
As some of you readers may or may not know (who reads this anyway ;)), I’ve got a new url. Now I haven’t fully got it operational, but the blog is up (until I update it of course ;)). As I don’t know if I’ll ever come back here:
http://blog.scorpei.com/
Back2school
It’s been ages since I’ve blogged (and I’m still no fan of it :)).
But this is one of the few things that are not hosted on my own (shared) hosting.
So I figured what the hey.
Anyway, school has started again so I’ve been pretty damn busy (with both school and.. other things).
Updating my website a bit, still needs some work but my site has been moved from my top priority list.
School is now back on top, cause I am in the 5th year now.
But no worries! I will keep working on it and try to keep you all up to date with nice reviews and etc..
I do need to look where my bandwith is going though…….
O, and remember, if you feel that your product should be reviewed, mail me :).
Btw, as this is the internet :), I was wondering if anyone could tell me if my current disclaimer is okay?
Back to gaming :P!
Cheers,
Scor
Todo:
-Download Kanotix & Kanotix lite (latest/2005-04) $done$
-Test Kanotix (normal) with rt2570 $done$
/////-Compiled for Knoppix (slow-system version) $no worky (wmb does, driver does not)$
/////-Compiled on own system (see if you can compile) $no worky (wmb does, driver does not)$
-Test Kanotix lite with rt2570
/////-Compiled for Knoppix (if that worked for Katonix normal)
/////-Compiled on own system (can you compile?)
-Decide approach
/////-rt2570 with Knoppix or with Kanotix? $Knoppix$
/////*-rt2570 with Katonix or Kanotix lite? $knoppix$
/////*-Normal part with Kanotix lite or normal?
/////*-idem for slow-system part
-Write appropriate shells for rt2570 (if decided to use Kanotix/Kanotix lite)
-Write shells for rt2500
/////-Normal part with Kanotix or Kanotix lite?
/////-idem for slow-system part
/////-write appropriate shells
-Test all shells (if changed)
-Make howto layout as stated: http://forum.gbadev.org/viewtopic.php?p=95340#95340 here
-Make howto
*note* Don’t you just love post-its :P?
Done :)
Okay, my G6lite review is done.
I’ve tried to take out most spelling mistakes and etc, but if you come around any bug or any problem please tell me :).
Because it took me so long and I needed breaks inbetween the write, I cooked up a new banner and an animated gif with 2 pics in it.
The banner you can see easily, but the CC animated gif is too small for anyone to see correctly.
This is what it is supposed to be (my work, if you want to use it ask me):
I kinda like it.
Anyway, back to normal life :).
-Scor
my page, about me, my hobbies, and learning Japanese 